Beverley Attard was just 11 when she watched her father destroy their family.Â
Attard’s mum, Betty, was murdered by her husband more than 30 years ago and decades on, Attard is still navigating the difficulties of being a survivor.
“I was witness to him shooting and killing my mother in our backyard,” Attard said.
“For me, there was a lot of stigma and loneliness.”
Attard received support from counsellors for two years but even as time has passed, she said children in Victoria are still the forgotten victims of these heinous crimes.Â
“The concept of it is quite confronting and you’re often then silenced and people who have had lived experience are often invisible,” she said.
Rebecca Burdon shares Attard’s grief and frustration.
Her mother Marilyn was shot dead by her boyfriend in a murder-suicide at her Kew home in 2017.
Burdon was 42 at the time and had three young children, including a six-month-old.Â
She said there wasn’t enough victim support from government agencies to help her cope.
“I personally needed practical support,” she said.
“I was so stressed that I couldn’t feed the baby anymore and I had to leave it because I couldn’t take it with me.”
A Melbourne University study conducted by Professor Eva Alisic reviewed 70 children affected by domestic homicide.
The findings revealed that many of these survivors have been failed by the lack of support available to them.Â
“The impact on these children is enormous and lifelong,” Alisic said.
It is estimated that this year alone 34 Australian children have lost a parent in these circumstances but there is no official database recording these statistics.Â
“We should really know which children are affected,” Alisic said.
“We need to provide them with good, evidence-based trauma and grief therapy.”
Attard was sent to live with her aunty after her mother died.
Professor Alisic argues there should be better assistance for extended families.
“The caregivers are grandparents or other family members who are going through their own grief,” she said.
“It’s really tough for them to support children in these tough circumstances.”
For years, both Attard and Burdon searched for others who share a similar story to them.Â
They want to see an established peer group for survivors.
“It’s been a really positive experience to be able to connect with someone who gets it,” Burdon said.
“This is not something that’s gonna stop in the near foreseeable future and there are going to be many children who will be impacted,” Attard said.
“Not just on the day but for the rest of their lives.”
