A master certified matchmaker with 25 years experience has shared five ‘surprising indicators’ that could mean you or your partner are more likely to cheat.
Louanne Ward, founder and CEO of Louanne Ward Match Making in Perth, has outlined the crucial things to be aware of that can help you to predict future infidelity.
1. Parental infidelity
‘If one of your parents cheated in the past, you might be more likely to cheat,’ Louanne said.
In her experience, this ‘genetic footprint’ can predispose you toward infidelity.
And she’s right, with a study run in 2017 concluding that you or your partner are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if infidelity also occurred in your parents’ relationship.
‘Witnessing infidelity in childhood can normalise it,’ Louanne explained.
Louanne Ward, founder and CEO of Louanne Ward Match Making in Perth ‘s Subiaco
You or your partner are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if infidelity also occurred in your parents’ relationship
2. High body counts
Partners with ‘high body counts’ should also beware.
Those who have experienced many partners and one night stands are more likely to stray than others.
Data on female infidelity in marriages found that women who had more sexual partners prior to marriage were much more likely to cheat on their spouse.
It found that women with two to four partners prior to marriage were approximately six times more likely to cheat, with women who had greater than 20 partners more than 16 times more likely to break their vows.
‘High body count often correlates with a thrill-seeking attitude towards sex, which can undermine long-term commitment,’ Louanne said.
3. Past behaviour
Most would agree with Louanne that past behaviour is another thing to keep in mind, with many believing the old adage of ‘once a cheater always a cheater’.
‘A history of infidelity is one of the strongest predictors of future infidelity,’ the dating relationship expert cautioned.
Louanne explained that infidelity isn’t simply a ‘mistake,’ ‘it’s a choice, a conscious decision’ and needs to be treated as such.
While she does believe people can change she thinks it requires ‘serious self-reflection and commitment’ on the part of the cheater.
So if you do decided to trust a cheater again she urges you to remember that ‘it’s a gamble, and the odds aren’t in your favour.’
4. Avoidant attachment style
If you or your partner have an ‘avoidant attachment style’ you might also find it harder to honour relationship commitments and seek ‘intimacy elsewhere,’ Louanne explained.
People in a relationship with someone displaying this attachment style need to pay attention because ‘if you notice a pattern of emotional withdrawal, it might be a red flag.’
‘If you notice a pattern of emotional withdrawal, it might be a red flag’, said Leanne
A study found women who had more sexual partners prior to marriage were much more likely to cheat on their spouse (stock image)
5. Emotional and behavioural instability
The last indicator to watch out for is emotional and behavioural instability.
Those who are ‘prone to dramatic shifts in mood and behaviour’ can damage the delicate ’emotional bonds that help maintain fidelity’.
Louanne reiterated that these are only predictive indicators to keep in mind and no guarantee of actual behaviour itself – ‘it doesn’t mean they will cheat.’
And what if you or your partner does stray, is trust something that can be rebuilt?
Louanne says the commitment to wanting the relationship ‘has to be there’ on both sides.
‘There also has to be a willingness to let it go,’ she said.
If the injured party stays attached to the betrayal then it becomes hard for the relationship to keep growing.
Louanne was adamant that the person cheated on also has to be able to acknowledge and own their own behaviour that may have contributed to their partner ‘seeking something outside the relationship’.
Infidelity is not only physical, the matchmaker also identifies hidden conversations, secret meetings and getting ’emotional support elsewhere’ as signs of emotional cheating, which can often be as much of a betrayal as physical infidelity.
