To be honest, I don’t care one jot whether the Princess of Wales did or did not edit the smiling photograph she – with the best of intentions – released for Mothering Sunday. She did, of course, because she’s said so – but I simply cannot believe the amount of forensic analysis that has gone into this storm in a teacup, this ‘inverted pyramid of piffle’, as my colleague Boris Johnson might put it.
As for online comment, I had no idea there were so many awful, sniggering people droolingly delighted to make up stories and post ‘hilarious’ spoofs of the poor old, fiddled-with pic.
My own theory is that Prince William took a few rubbish snaps (after all, she’s the one with the skill behind the camera) and she did her best to improve them, not realising it would bring the wrath of nations down on her poor head. But come on, who cares? Me, I am far more interested in what’s going on at home and abroad – damnably depressing as it all is. My mind is on real storms.
But that’s not the point.
I don’t care one jot whether the Princess of Wales did or did not edit the smiling photograph she – with the best of intentions – released for Mothering Sunday
What I care about – and what really matters – is that Catherine is reportedly devastated at the response. Who would blame her for shedding tears and cringing in horror at the thought of the future – the life she signed up to when she married her handsome prince in front of an adoring nation?
This is what the world has done to a woman recovering from a major operation. This is what all the pitiless mockery and gossipy speculation has visited upon the head of someone whose only crime has been to act with perfect poise, warmth, intelligence, and sparky fun at every single event she has graced (and that word fits her perfectly) in her role as future Queen. She never makes it all about her. Empathy and generosity shine out from her every gesture.
Would the gossips and mockers kick away her stick if they saw her hobbling in the street? Of course not. But I tell you, the weird and prurient uproar over her sweet family picture – only published to reassure people she is managing OK during her long convalescence – is tantamount to just that. Sadly, we have all been forced to get used to the Coliseum of cruelty that modern life has become. But this bullying of a young woman recovering from major surgery just makes me furious.
Many people reading this will know what it’s like after a big operation. Currently in that position myself, I feel a profound sympathy for Catherine.
I had elective surgery on February 15 to replace my right hip. Since I had the same operation on the other side seven years ago, I reckoned I knew exactly what to expect. Afterwards (both times), the wonderful surgeon warned me that after such surgery you must, ‘Think of it as a three month project.’
Naturally impatient, I reckoned he was surely exaggerating, just a little. But I’ve remembered that wise advice more than once during the last four weeks – and will again in the near future.
Because major surgery takes more about of you than you can possibly imagine.
At home now, in my favourite chair (which my husband has had to raise on blocks for medical reasons), suffering discomfort on my right side because of the recovering hip, acute pain on my left side because of the horrible Shingles virus, and considering it a major triumph that I can now walk very slowly on one stick instead of two… Yes, I do have some inkling as to what the Princess of Wales has been going through.
What I care about – and what really matters – is that Catherine is reportedly devastated at the response
Quite apart from the pain, it is strangely disorientating and very demoralising. What is in fact an onslaught on the body inevitably has a similar effect on the mind. The two are inseparable.
There are days when you wonder if you’ll ever again rediscover the merry person you once were. You feel pale and drawn, old and unattractive and just want to turn your back on everything that used to make you happy. Even your beloved family can be just too tiring.
This isn’t every day, of course. Just enough days to lower your spirits, while you are trying to do the physiotherapy exercises designed to make your body stronger. I don’t know of any exercises fit to smooth over a tired, scratchy, fed-up mind.
Before anybody rebukes me, I know there are far worse things than this. My 19-year-old brother broke his back in three places in a car smash, so I’ve known about terrible long-term suffering and disability since I was 17. I also happen to have had a full hysterectomy (that was in 2003), which can put you out of circulation for a very long time, as you adjust to the psychological implications of the loss of your ovaries and womb.
Although some people positively skip into speedy recovery after surgery, as I occasionally tell readers of my Saturday advice column, there is no league table for mental distress. We don’t have to make comparisons. My own ‘three-month project’ is very real to me and is taking every ounce of physical and mental resilience I have. My wise surgeon also warned me that, just as after childbirth, you can get the ‘blues’ after surgery. How right he is.
So let us all remember that the Princess of Wales has been going through all this, and probably more. I believe she is absolutely within her rights to ask for privacy at this time. We might pay for our Royal Family but that does not give us the right to ask them to dance to our tune, whatever jig we call for.
As a Monarchist I am obviously interested in what caused Catherine’s need for surgery, but if she wishes not to disclose it yet, then so be it. The central truth that concerns me right now is that this 42-year-old mother is acutely vulnerable. So it grieves me to imagine how utterly distressed she will have been at the photo-furore – how depressed, helpless and humiliated, and probably angry too. She should never have been put through such an expenditure of emotional energy while still convalescing.
My own theory is that Prince William took a few rubbish snaps (after all, she’s the one with the skill behind the camera) and she did her best to improve them
Have we lost any understanding of what it means to ‘convalesce’? It was once an essential part of recovery. When I was born, a new mother would routinely spend up to ten days in hospital, to recover and learn about baby. How different from nowadays! In this rather brutal, speeded-up world people lack the patience to understand weakness: ‘A three month project? Nonsense! Just get on with it!’
They expect updates on Royal health as of right, instead of allowing Catherine private, quiet time to haul herself back into being the superstar she always was. It’s a rather sad thought that she may not be the same person again. And if that were to be the case, she will need our support more than ever.
The old-fashioned word, convalesce comes from the Latin verb convalescere. It starts with con meaning ‘with, together, jointly’, and puts it with the verb valescere, meaning ‘to grow strong’.
Think about that meaning. The Princess of Wales can only heal if her family, friends and the nation are as one, together willing her to grow strong. And that, my friends, must mean an end to all the ugliness we have seen.
In other words, Leave her alone – and back off.
