While many 14-year-olds might roll their eyes at the prospect of a summer holiday abroad with their parents, the idea instilled pure terror in Hayley.
She had been severely physically and emotionally abused from a young age by her mother and father, and being in a place where no one knew them would only put her at a greater risk.
‘The abuse was more isolated,’ Hayley, who is speaking under a pseudonym, told FEMAIL.
This holiday was a turning point for the teenager, who realised she had to make a plan to leave her abusive parents.
Hayley had been abused for as long as she could remember. Other family members have told her they remember seeing signs of abuse from when she was ‘in her cot’.
Hayley had been severely physically and emotionally abused from a young age by her mother and father (stock photo)
On this family holiday, she finally reached out to one family member she could trust and asked for help.
‘My parents are abusing me, I need help. I need to get out right away,’ she told the relative.
Hayley only had a short time to speak before her parents returned from a trip to the shops, but she recalls her relative ‘knew instantly’ how desperate her situation was.
‘Upsetting my parents would have its own consequences,’ Hayley noted. ‘But I was more worried about it getting worse. I had to put them aside.’
She and her relative came up with a plan to call Childline once she had returned from holiday – but according to Hayley, asking for help did not give her the sanctuary she had hoped for.
Shortly after the phone call, social services turned up at Hayley’s door and questioned her about her claims of abuse. However, she said her parents were ‘in the next room’ the entire time.
‘I remember [the social workers] speaking to my parents, reassuring them and then leaving.’ Hayley said. She added she was too frightened to go into detail about the physical abuse she had suffered at the hands of her parents because they were in the house at the time.
However, after reporting her parents for the first time, Hayley recalls feeling headstrong that she had to keep going. So when she went back to school, now 15 years old, she confided in her teachers about the situation at home.
‘That’s when the police got involved,’ she explained.
After feeling let down by social services, Hayley recalled feeling hopeful the police would listen to her story. However, instead of being invited to a police interview, she claims she was taken to a mental health assessment centre where she was asked questions about the abuse while her parents were in the room.
Hayley recalled: ‘The woman was asking me, ‘how do you think your parents are abusing you? How do you think this is affecting them?’
Hayley had been abused for as long as she could remember. Other family members have told her they remember seeing signs of abuse from when she was ‘in her cot’ (stock photo)
She claims that, at the end of the interview, the woman interviewing her made a ‘threat’ that she would be detained if she stuck to her story.
‘She said if I continued reporting it, I would be locked away,’ Hayley recalled tearfully.
‘Buckled down, given injections, I’d be out of it. I’d be blocked from seeing anyone. It was very sinister.’
Hayley believes that her parents’ reputations as ‘good-standing’ members of society, working in the medical profession, meant the authorities were less likely to take action against them.
Although she maintained throughout her teenage years that her parents were abusive, Hayley recalls how her parents went on the charm offensive with her teachers and parents of her friends – in a bid to convince others that Hayley’s story was false.
Meanwhile, she was exploring all her options – interviewing with charities who ran homeless shelters and refuges to try and find somewhere else to live.
‘I was told I wasn’t eligible for a lot of these places,’ she recalled.
The abuse at home was not getting any better, with Hayley’s parents frequently locking her in the house and taking away her phone.
‘I can’t believe I made it to 18,’ she said. ‘It was a very miserable four years.’
Her grades began to suffer as her mental health continued to decline and eventually, Hayley had to drop out of school due to frequent panic attacks around the time she was studying for her GCSEs. Her physical health also declined in her teenage years and she was eventually diagnosed with ME.
‘I was quite sick for that period. I was near enough bedbound for six months with chronic migraines,’ she said.
Hayley began to teach herself from home, but says she didn’t do well in her GCSEs as her final scores were based on predicted grades from her teachers who hadn’t seen her for some time.
When the time came to study her A levels, Hayley was already doing her best to save money from part-time work in kitchens. Her aim remained the same; to move out as soon as she could.
By the time she turned 18, Hayley managed to move out after saving for just three months – something she thought was made easier because of the pandemic.
But although she had managed to find respite from her parents, the teenager was still desperate to go to university – which she believed would help her break free from them forever.
Although she maintained throughout her teenage years that her parents were abusive, Hayley recalls how her parents went on the charm offensive with her teachers and parents of her friends – in a bid to convince others that Hayley’s story was false (stock photo)
Still not well enough to attend school to study, Hayley partnered up with a retired teacher who agreed to tutor her for free. After a lot of studying combined with her part-time work, she completed her A levels and was awarded a place at university.
‘My university is great, I love the course,’ she said. ‘I have always loved learning but school was never right for me. I always had the belief that in the right environment I would really enjoy it and learn a lot.
‘I wish I could keep doing it forever.’
However, although Hayley’s academic life was finally on-track, she was still being subject to harassment from her parents, who attempted to make contact with her by any means necessary.
On one occasion they forced their way into her flat, leaving her frightened for her safety.
After feeling let down by authorities that were supposed to protect her when she had previously reported the abuse, Hayley was unsure where to turn next and spoke to a university worker about her situation.
The staff member put Hayley in touch with Advance, a charity which supports women, children and young people affected by violence at home and sexual violence, debt, substance misuse and mental health issues.
Before long she was assigned a case worker who helped her navigate her parents’ abuse – and raised an option Hayley didn’t know was available to her.
The support worker explained the purpose of non-molestation orders, and informed Hayley she could consider going to court to take out such an order against her parents which would bar them from making contact with her.
‘Advance were the first organisation of any kind to believe me about my story and about the crimes that had taken place at home,’ Hayley said, describing the relief she felt at finally finding some support for her situation.
The charity helped her attain legal aid so she could apply for the order.
‘I didn’t know what they were beforehand,’ she said. ‘It’s a great option because you don’t have to go through criminal court and I didn’t feel safe enough to go to the police.’
Hayley’s non-molestation order, which was taken out against her parents last May, states that they must not enter her home, nor go within 100 metres of any property where they believe she might be living.
They are also prohibited from contacting her unless it’s through a solicitor, and cannot ‘harass’, ‘pester’ or threaten violence towards her.
‘Having the legal protection is such a relief,’ Hayley said, as she explained she’s now looking forward to her future.
She added she has always had an interest in writing, but has been inspired to explore a career in law and is planning on converting her university degree.
‘I have so many plans. I have so many people who believe in my potential,’ she said.
