Sarah Herron shared an update on her grief following the devastating death of her and fiancé Dylan Brown’s baby boy, Oliver, to her Instagram account on Tuesday.
Following their son’s passing, shortly after she gave birth to him at just 24 weeks, on January 28, the influencer, who appeared on Sean Lowe‘s season of The Bachelor in 2013, admitted that she has barely ‘managed to survive’ the past month.
‘I can’t distinguish if the last month has been a nightmare or if my pregnancy was all a dream,’ she captioned a slideshow of snaps with her late infant and at home on the couch with her husband-to-be and dog.
She continued: ‘And as each new day brings increments of space and healing… I am gutted that we are moving back in a direction of life that physically looks like the one we lived before Oliver.’
The art director went on to tell her more than 321,000 followers that her body is ‘healing’ as she remains in maternity jeans, which she described as a ‘paradox of relief and grief at the same time.’
One month on: Sarah Herron shared an update on her grief following the devastating death of her and fiancé Dylan Brown’s baby boy, Oliver, to her Instagram account on Tuesday
‘We love you and miss you forever’: She shared poignant photos of her son, who died shortly after he was born at 24 weeks
‘Although it’s still snowing, spring is peeking its way through and I am not ready. The minutes of daylight gained each night is an insulting reminder that life carries on, despite my grief still being held in January. I don’t want the snow to melt or the trees to bud. I want to Winter with Oliver forever,’ the Colorado native explained.
Herron also noted that she is grateful that joy has ‘come back sooner’ to her life than expected.
‘I didn’t believe people when they told me it would. And we’ve been laughing—a lot actually. We’ve started cooking again, and going for walks. And Rio [her dog], sweet Rio… he has been my lifeline. He is my witness,’ she said.
As she ‘exclusively’ focuses on healing, the TV personality reflected on still rarely seeing or talking to people as she mourns her son.
‘The okay days are starting to outnumber intolerable days, and good days are even starting to find their way in,’ Herron stated.
As she waits for his urn to arrive, Herron confessed to finding ‘humor’ in him sitting in a ‘white gift bag’ on her nightstand as she feels his ‘spirit’ all around her.
‘People all around the WORLD feel his spirit. And though his body isn’t here, I know this isn’t the end of Oliver Brown,’ the reality star concluded. ‘Happy one month heavenly birthday, baby boy. We love you and miss you forever. ❤️’
The comment section of her post, which received more than 36,251 likes in 10 hours, was flooded with well-wishes, including a sweet note from Chris Harrison.
‘I can’t distinguish if the last month has been a nightmare or if my pregnancy was all a dream,’ she captioned a slideshow of snaps with her late infant and at home on the couch with her husband-to-be and dog
Healing: Herron also noted that she is grateful that joy has ‘come back sooner’ to her life than expected
As she ‘exclusively’ focuses on healing, the TV personality reflected on still rarely seeing or talking to people as she mourns her son
‘Sending you love sweet girl,’ the former Bachelor/Bachelorette host wrote under the images.
Elyse Sherard, who was on season 23 of The Bachelor, penned a heartfelt response to the emotional tribute, in which she said she couldn’t ‘begin to fathom this loss or this grief.’
‘I am so proud of your courage in sharing your experience that so many mothers endure or are made to feel like they have to endure silently. Praying for grace with yourself as you try to navigate the unimaginable. ❤️❤️,’ the Case of the Sunday Scaries podcast host wrote.
On February 1, Herron shared the heartbreaking news of Oliver’s passing as she described the joys and sorrows of their brief time with her son.
‘The okay days are starting to outnumber intolerable days, and good days are even starting to find their way in,’ Herron stated
Coping: As she waits for his urn to arrive, Herron confessed to finding ‘humor’ in him sitting in a ‘white gift bag’ on her nightstand as she feels his ‘spirit’ all around her
‘There are no words for the magnitude of loss and pain we’re experiencing,’ she continued. ‘It’s beautiful and simultaneously tragic. He had my nose and his dad’s mouth and long fingers,’ she wrote.
‘Oliver, our IVF miracle defied so many odds and fought through so many hard milestones to be here, but the higher powers still had other plans for the three of us,’ Herron wrote.
‘Our time together was short, but we are grateful for the days we had with Oliver in my belly.’
She continued: ‘He has taught us so much about the integrity of life, love and death. Oliver filled our home and hearts with so much love and most importantly, optimism. The stars aligned to create Baby Oliver with a deep, meaningful purpose bigger than we’ll ever understand. His body was small, but his legacy will always be larger than life to us.’
She made it clear that little Oliver was a constant companion on her adventures during their time together.
‘Oliver swam with sea turtles, he kept me company while I recovered from a broken knee, and he loved his dad’s cooking. Most of all, Oliver loved his morning routine of laying heart to heart with his brother, Rio, on my lap,’ she wrote, referring to the family’s dog.
Sarah, who went through IVF treatments to help her conceive Oliver, announced that she and Dylan — whom she got engaged to in May 2021 — were expecting their first child together in September of 2022.
She didn’t shy away from sharing the details of her treatments with her fans on social media, and that openness was why she was willing to share the news of her pregnancy relatively early, rather than waiting.
‘I know many families prefer to keep pregnancy private until after the first trimester, but I have shared entire fertility journey since day one,’ she told Us Weekly. ‘One of the blessings of IVF is the support I have gained by being transparent about this process.’
Painful month: On February 1, Herron shared the heartbreaking news of Oliver’s passing as she described the joys and sorrows of their brief time with her son
Miracle baby: Sarah, who went through IVF treatments to help her conceive Oliver, announced that she and Dylan — whom she got engaged to in May 2021 — were expecting their first child together in September of 2022
‘I know many families prefer to keep pregnancy private until after the first trimester, but I have shared entire fertility journey since day one,’ she told Us Weekly . ‘One of the blessings of IVF is the support I have gained by being transparent about this process’
