Jeremy’s Farm Series Two: Funniest moments

Jeremy Clarkson is known for his divisive views, vocal haters and raging scandals. 

Yet the former Top Gear host has managed to win a legion of supporters through his attempts to turn his hand to farming – as he has now unveiled the second season of his wildly popular Amazon Prime series, Clarkson’s Farm, which follows his hapless attempts at running his own farm in Oxfordshire. 

After the roaring success of the first season, released in June 2021, viewers will return to Diddly Squat to see Jeremy, his level-headed girlfriend Lisa and lovable aide Caleb work on tackling the farm in the face of strife – including Brexit delays, council struggles, badger enemies and his desires to open a restaurant. 

As well as his woes, Jeremy also suffers the pains of losing half his thumb – in a potato peeler accident – while making enemies with a camera-shy cow and scolding himself on chillis.  

We take a look at the funniest moments to feature on the new season, which was released on Thursday and met with rave reviews from a host of publications. 

He’s back! The 62-year-old broadcaster manages the farm in Chadlington, Oxfordshire, and has documented the process for the Prime Video show Clarkson’s Farm. Pictured: Jeremy Clarkson at his Diddly Squat farm shop in West Oxfordshire

THE ATTACK COW: Jeremy gets cattle but is HATED by one of his cows

Jeremy is a divisive character away from the farm yet it seems the dismay towards his character extends on to the field, when he obtains a new herd of cows – a move he admits was stupid while Kaleb points out that many of the pitfalls of their cow farming was entirely down to his famous boss.

Episode two of the new series sees the cows reject the fence keeping them contained and thus – like his flock of sheep from the last series – begin storming unto the neighbouring farm. Jeremy’s fraught relationship with his new cattle is a running theme and the star conceded he should never have added them to the farm. 

He said: ‘I thought, “Right! Well, I’ll get some cows.” But I don’t know anything about cow farming. Literally nothing at all. I wanted to get Friesians, and apparently, they’re used to make milk. I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything. I ended up with a fleet of shorthorn cows. Everyone nods and says, “Oh, they’re good.” I don’t know why.

‘It’s been a year of total disasters on the cow front. Absolute disasters, because I didn’t know anything, I shouldn’t have had cows. It was a mad thing to have got’. 

As well as the rogue nature of the animals, Jeremy also fought with haggling on the price of the cows.  

Stupid: Jeremy is a divisive character away from the farm yet it seems the dismay towards his character extends on to the field, when he obtains a new herd of cows – a move he admits was stupid while Kaleb points out that many of the pitfalls of their cow farming was entirely down to his famous boss 

Speaking about the addition of cattle to Diddly Squat, Kaleb added: ‘It’s the best addition ever. Cows beat sheep any day, don’t they?… The personalities they’ve got – you get that one cow that loves you to pieces… Then another cow who’s funny all the time. And you get that one cow who just literally hates you…

‘Well, there was definitely one cow in that herd that hated Jeremy, I tell you. We called her the Attack Cow. She was just protecting her calf, and Jeremy got in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don’t think she really meant it. The cows hate the drones, and they hate the cameras.  

‘The Attack Cow would chase the cameraman whenever he got near them. She was fine with me, she was fine with everybody else, but she would chase this one cameraman out of the pen and Jeremy was in the wrong place at the wrong time too.

[There was a bit of a mishap getting the cows into the barn when they first arrived] but I think that was Jeremy’s fault. I never blame the cows for anything. I think it’s probably Jeremy’s fault from not being very good at handling them. They did get out a few times as well because the fencing around the farm is not the best. It was put up 15 years ago. It has weak points. So that’s Jeremy’s fault as well’. 

Clarkson witnesses the birth of a calf in the show – where he focuses on cattle

‘FORIEGN OXFORD NATIVES’ AND NO TRAIN: Kaleb continues to show his homebound ways 

Kaleb won the hearts of viewers in series one, thanks to his doe-eyed innocence and refusal to venture further than his local area – to the point of not even owning a passport. 

In the new series, a hilarious moment reveals that he believes those from Oxford to be ‘foreign’ and has never even been on a train – although his farming knowledge remains unparalleled. 

Speaking about his lovable aide, Jeremy said: ‘The thing about Kaleb is that he was born in Chipping Norton and, as we know from the first series, he’s never left it. He’d never been on a train, he’d never been in a taxi, he’d never been on any kind of boat. He’d certainly never been airborne. And he still doesn’t really leave Chipping Norton.

‘Everyone’s seen the TV show, but they still just see him doing his business as usual, so his life hasn’t changed. Maybe if he went to Los Angeles and people were coming up to him in the street, then that would be a surprise to him. But he isn’t going to Los Angeles or Londonor Nice. He doesn’t have a passport.

What tends to affect famous people is when they get recognised when they’re in Sydney or Moscow. They go to African villages and start thinking, “I’m so famous, I must find someone to make me a cup of coffee.” But Kaleb just sits on his tractor – rarely more than a stone’s throw from where he’s always lived’. 

Kaleb even revealed that he would love to star on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here – with the hindrance being that he does not have a passport: ‘Yeah [I’m desperate to do the show]. One day, when I get a passport.’

Jeremy Clarkson appears to run over a mouse in the trailer – which later turns out to have avoided being squished

GETTING HOT IN HERE: Jeremy and Lisa attempt to create their own chilli sauce 

Jeremy and Lisa attempt to create their own chili sauce, only to discover Jeremy can’t quite take the heat as one of their trials with chefs sees him burst into an unbearable coughing fit.  

Speaking about his inability to take the heat, he said: ‘Well, I was like, “I like chilli sauce. I like chilli in food and things.” And I thought, “Well, that can’t be very difficult. We should get some chillies, and then we should grow them.”

‘We put some polytunnels up, which is not that difficult, and then bought a variety of chillies. I thought it would be fun to grow Carolina Reapers because it’s very easy to grow them and they’re very prolific. But my God, they’re hot. When I first tasted them, they caused me to actually burp while being sick which is something I’ve never experienced before.

‘Anyway, we made a sauce out of them. One sauce was lovely and just beautifully spicy, then we did a hotter one which I think, in hindsight, was a bit too hot. We’re going to put it on sale anyway – “come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough” sort of thing’. ‘

Shock: While Kaleb is limited in his worldliness, his farming knowledge is unparalleled  

BLOODY A-PEEL: Jeremy slices his thumb in potato peeler accident

While attempting to make his own crisps, Jeremy cuts his finger with a potato peeler – to the tune of cutting off half his thumb in a gory gaffe. 

Speaking about the incident, he said: ‘I cut half of my thumb off, but it’s all been sewn back on again now. It’s interesting that the only proper injury I’ve sustained in farming – a long-lasting one – was actually from cooking, rather than farming. Which just goes to show: Gordon Ramsay’s job is more dangerous than mine’.